What Would Dr. Jesus Do?

The healthcare debate rages across this country or at least the astroturf movement is grabbing headlines.  However,  no one has addressed this issue, what would Jesus do?  Really, ask yourself, “what would Dr. Jesus do?”  I think we all know the answer.

As we all know from Sunday School, many of the miracles Jesus performed were medically related.  The medical litany of Christ is rather lengthy but in interest of our current debate, let’s list them here.  Jesus cured all of the following: fever, dropsy, paralysis, long term bleeding, withered hands, blindness, deafness, and we should probably add the 3 folks he raised from the dead (not including himself).  What I’m sure of is that after performing these medically related miracles, Dr. Jesus Christ never once asked for a co-pay.  In fact, I don’t think he even asked one of these folks if they were covered. 

The raising of the dead is a medical miracle to be certain.  Imagine the cash you could make off of that?  Look at the cash Pfizer has made raising middle-aged men’s dead johnsons, but raising whole dead bodies would be a gold mine.  Now I’m not a medical guru but I do know that being dead is the leading cause of death in the United States.  Death far surpasses lung cancer, heart disease and breast cancer COMBINED!  Death has been with us since Cain and Abel, I think.  A recent medical study revealed that ALL humans, that’s me and you, are genetically predisposed to death. 

With the forgoing in mind, Dr. Jesus cured death, 4 freaking times!  Did he get a patent on this method or procedure?  Did he license this technology to Glaxo or Pfizer? Nope he did it for free, sort of a one man socialized medical regime.  Going forward, when one of the healthcare haters comes at you, just say “WWDJD” or “What Would Doctor Jesus Do?”

Love South African Style

by Lodro, International Editor for PolitiPorn

Congratulations South Africa, you have finally created a news story that doesn’t mention the fact that you lead the world in rapes per capita (second place in murders) or had a health minister that recommended a diet of garlic and beetroot to cure AIDS, by denying the Dalai Lama a visa to attend an international peace conference (well what was going to be an international peace conference, they decided not to have it without the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu who announced that he would boycott.)

I guess the AIDS thing isn’t that important because damn near 80% of the adult population and a whopping 69% of pregnant women don’t have AIDS.

I can’t imagine what would prompt South Africa to deny the Dalai Lama a visa. The official reason was that it would shift the focus away from the 2010 World Cup being held there and “that it wasn’t in South Africa’s best interest.” It couldn’t have anything to do with China being their biggest trade partner… wait maybe it’s because the Dalai Lama hasn’t ever raped anyone.

Obama the Great (And The End of a Man-Crush)

By Lodro Special Correspondent to PolitiPorn.

Bush is gone and now I can finally say that I am once again an Independent. Obama has made history in becoming the first US president to follow the dumbest man in the world, and I hear he’s black. I hope he does a great job for our country. I hope he gives back many of my rights as an American, restores our international credibility and leads us through a terrible economic time while laying the foundations for a more prosperous America. His campaign brought people together around the world and made them optimistic about America, he brought the next generation into the political arena and got 9.5 million more votes than McCain, the highest raw popular vote margin ever.

As strange as it may seem, Joe “Crazy Tits” Biden couldn’t be a better man for the job as Vice President. I didn’t want to bring this up at the time, but the red-staters could have done a little more with his middle name, Robinette, instead of going after the obvious.

Obama can represent the government to the American people and the World with a sincere eloquence that few in history have been able to replicate, recognized some decent talent for important advisory positions, and make decisions based on reality, cooperation and good council. At the same time, Joe Biden is as smart as we’ve got in geopolitics, he sat on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee for a long time and left as the Chairman, he has played the game in the Senate longer than anyone and is known to be ‘bi-partisany.’ He’s also a scrapper, last month he walked out on Karzai during a meeting when the latter tried to feed him the same bullshit that has worked for the past couple of years.

Christ only knows what McCain and Palin would have done with the office, besides suspending the role of the executive branch due to the economic crisis.