This week was tough for the PolitiPorn AssHat Committee. Asshats, Asshats, everywhere but not a drop to drink! However, in the interest of bi-partisanship we decided to provide some steamy hot Conservative on Conservative & Liberal on Liberal action.
I don’t know that these two guys would necessarily share an AssHat, so we are ponying up the extra expense and handing out two, count ’em 2, AssHats. The winners, or wieners if you will, are the Right Reverend Jesse L. Jackson and former US Senator Phil Gramm. Oddly enough, the two men have more in common than just being plain old AssHats, that later. But let’s get to their respective deeds that warranted the bestowing of AssHats for the week of July 11, 2008.
Jesse “AssHat” Jackson –
The Right Reverend Jackson’s deed is well known by now thanks to the diligent reporting of Papa Bear & Loofah King Bill O’Reilly and his minions over at FOX News. Special kudos go to the guy or gal that left Jackson’s microphone on. Had the microphone been turned off, we would have never had the privilege of knowing that Jackson wish to leave Obama sans testicles.
Jesse tried to preempt the controversy with an apology but the damage was done and the AssHat must be passed. You have to wonder what so offended Jesse that he would want to literally neuter Barack Obama. He appears to take issue with Obama’s call to men, black men in particular, to take responsibility for the children they sire. Obama went on to posit that children need a father’s oversight and influence to reach adulthood and be well adjusted. Jesse sees a problem with that OR it could just be that Obama has replaced him on the national scene. I think it’s the latter.
Jackson should receive 2 AssHats in all honesty. One for the comment and the other for being so damn stupid to think that he could say something like that in the FOX studios and get away with it. That’s why the damn AssHat is whispering on the video. Dude, wait til you’re out of the building to say crap like that. It’s just plain stupid.
Despite what some may think, Jackson’s comment will likely have a positive effect on Barack Obama’s image. Jackson just isn’t very well liked in certain circles and as the old saying goes “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” There’s alot of conservative independents who just made a new BFF and his name is Barack. Have him over for dinner, he’s Christian and he’ll eat pork trust me.
Phil “10-Gallon AssHat” Gramm
Ah Phil Gramm where have you been all this time? For those that don’t know, Phil is from Texas so in honor of his heritage we had our tailors make him a 10-Gallon AssHat. Unfortunately, I’ve since found out that Phil has a 20 Gallon Head!
So whom did Phil offend or what did Phil do? In my estimation he hurt he McCain campaign and offend, oh, just about every middle-class American in the process. How did he do it you ask?
Faced with a comment like Phil’s I cannot resort to paraphrasing. Thus, here is a bit of insight from McCain economic adviser and AssHat Phil Gramm: “You’ve heard of mental depression; this is a mental recession,” and “We have sort of become a nation of whiners, you just hear this constant whining, complaining about a loss of competitiveness, America in decline.”
OK, you’ve got a guy who is talking for your campaign and calls every voter in the US a whiner. Ouch, that has got to hurt. McCain didn’t waste time in denouncing Gramm’s diatribe and who could blame him. If I were McCain, I would have tossed his butt off the Straight Talk Express and then back up over him.
We all remember the outrage when Obama said that working class folks cling to guns and religion. He was seen as being out of touch. How out of touch is Phil Gramm? Phil, folks are having a hard time out there. Apparently, you haven’t noticed that we are all dipping into our life savings just to go grocery shopping and to fill our gas tanks. Must be nice to be so rich that you’re above it all. Well Phil, take it from one of use down here, there is a recession on my friend and Phil dang-gummit you’re nothing but a danged ole AssHat!
Wow, that Phil Gramm comment.
Great post!!! I feel that Jesse Jackson would almost qualify every week for an Asshat, but he was especially worthy this week. I agree with you that Jackson feels that Obama has replaced him on the national scene.
Phil Gramm has become senile!!! Phil needs to go fill up his pick-up truck’s gas tank and then try to tell me that there is no recession!! Does even bother to look at the stock market anymore??? What an Asshat!!!
@The Fallen – see there you go again, whining just like Uncle Phil said you would. 😉
The prices aren’t higher, it’s all just in your mind.
Wow, no mention of (not a real rev) Jackson’s son throwing him under the bus?
I do agree this helped Obama’s votes for the next election.
BTW – when is Jesse coming to Duke to apologize to the Lacrosse team?