What Would Dr. Jesus Do?

The healthcare debate rages across this country or at least the astroturf movement is grabbing headlines.  However,  no one has addressed this issue, what would Jesus do?  Really, ask yourself, “what would Dr. Jesus do?”  I think we all know the answer.

As we all know from Sunday School, many of the miracles Jesus performed were medically related.  The medical litany of Christ is rather lengthy but in interest of our current debate, let’s list them here.  Jesus cured all of the following: fever, dropsy, paralysis, long term bleeding, withered hands, blindness, deafness, and we should probably add the 3 folks he raised from the dead (not including himself).  What I’m sure of is that after performing these medically related miracles, Dr. Jesus Christ never once asked for a co-pay.  In fact, I don’t think he even asked one of these folks if they were covered. 

The raising of the dead is a medical miracle to be certain.  Imagine the cash you could make off of that?  Look at the cash Pfizer has made raising middle-aged men’s dead johnsons, but raising whole dead bodies would be a gold mine.  Now I’m not a medical guru but I do know that being dead is the leading cause of death in the United States.  Death far surpasses lung cancer, heart disease and breast cancer COMBINED!  Death has been with us since Cain and Abel, I think.  A recent medical study revealed that ALL humans, that’s me and you, are genetically predisposed to death. 

With the forgoing in mind, Dr. Jesus cured death, 4 freaking times!  Did he get a patent on this method or procedure?  Did he license this technology to Glaxo or Pfizer? Nope he did it for free, sort of a one man socialized medical regime.  Going forward, when one of the healthcare haters comes at you, just say “WWDJD” or “What Would Doctor Jesus Do?”

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The RNC Shopping Spree of Sexism

By Lindsey, PolitiPorn Religion and Style Editor

Over $150,000 has been spent on Sarah Palin’s wardrobe for the
campaign, and in addition to that around $50,000 more has been spent on
hair and makeup- $20,000 of that in the first two weeks of October
alone.

Democrats are being called sexist for using those numbers as an
example of the GOP’s lack of knowledge of the “real” America, the
America in which moms wear stained t-shirts day after day so they can
afford nice clothes for their kids to go to school, the America in
which a woman scrounges together twenty dollars to buy makeup that she
only wears a few times a month, the America in which haircuts happen
when the money is around, which may be once or twice a year, and she
has to style it herrself with a couple of mirrors and a prayer because
there is no way in God’s name she’s going to spend money to have
someone else pin it up other than for her wedding.

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Attack of the Obscure Stat

By Nyima, PolitiPorn Trantric Statitistal Analyst

As a trend the favorability ratings of the two candidates suggest a predictable slide from peak levels by both candidates with John McCain leading with an 11% increase in frowny faces from his February peak. Obama’s slide was far less pronounced losing only three percent of friendly faces from his peak in June. To put the McCain train wreck in perspective, our dull-witted president managed only a 5% slide during the same period (note starting with a 34% approval rating in February Bush would have needed a public nipple slip to sink more than 5 points.)

Obama supporters should be giving each other feminine high fives today considering the historic implications of the approval rating advantage. As shown in the table below, approval ratings have offered a solid forecast of the election results for the past four elections. So get cocky Obama-Nation this one is in the bag!

As for John McCain, you lost us at “My Friends.”

Gallup (Favorability)			24-Oct-08
	Year	Peak	October	From Peak
Obama	2008	64% (Jun)	61%	-3%
McCain	2008	68% (Feb)	57%	-11%
Historic	Year	October	Final	Change
George W. Bush	2004	54%	53%	-1%
John Kerry	2004	52%	51%	-1%
George W. Bush	2000	62%	58%	-4%
Al Gore	2000	53%	55%	2%
Bill Clinton	1996	59%	56%	-3%
Bob Dole	1996	53%	51%	-2%
Bill Clinton	1992	49%	51%	2%
George H.W. Bush	1992	46%	46%	0%
Ross Perot	1992	44%	46%	2%

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